Thoughts… We all have them. Lately I’ve had a lot of them; dreams, hopes, reflections and memories, they’re all the emotional reality. For some reasons I’ve been reflecting a lot lately, on dreams and the future. What god has for me, my purpose here on earth. There is all these bricks of a puzzle that I’m trying to figure out… but it takes time.
I don’t know… I think letting the mind run its course is the best way of figuring out of things. I don’t like times like these, where I start thinking every spare moment of the day. It’s good for me… I know that, but still it’s hard dealing with everything at once. So many thoughts to sort out and put to rest.
What really is the purpose for me here on earth… What was I born to be, born to do? I guess time will show… but I want some sort of sign or hint… something to help me in the direction I’m meant to go. I know what I love doing… what I would like my passion to be, but the questions still stands. Am I good enough… will it ever be good enough?
Questions… Clueless questions. How would I know the answer to them. I should start focusing on what I want to pursue and achieve. I know deep within that nothing is achievable without hard work and focus. It’s interesting to look back in time… Remembering the past, and how clueless one could be. How much I did and all the things I could’ve done. This is probably what they meant when they told you “You’ll grow up one day, and you’ll see…”. I’m still far from grown up, I’m just seventeen and I have at least ten more years until I can start considering myself an adult.
When I look at this picture of me from a little bit of a month ago I realize how quickly I change. How quickly people change. I don’t remember that boy in that picture… That picture is a collision, loss and revelation ago. People might not believe me, but after two months of living in LA you learn a lot. I didn’t expect this or that… I really did not expect this much to happen in eight weeks. Thinking of it; eight weeks is not a long time, but looking back… It’s a really long time.
I love writing like this… Freely, and utterly open. Letting thoughts flow by writing it down. Reflect on things by writing it down. Even though I’m not addressing everything, I’m still able to reflect in my head. Letting new positive things flow through instead. I live, I learn and I survive and succeed.
~ S E