I can start of by saying that I hate telling people what I wanna be. It’s because I’m so afraid of disappointing people, and maybe mostly afraid of disappointing myself. I’ve actually known all my life what I wanted to do, but not quite in detail… if you know what I mean? I’ve known that It’d have something to do in the entertainment business. I wanna be an actor…
I’ve had this ambition for a really long time, and people say that dreaming is healthy, but not always. For me it’s scary… terrifying in all ways, but still comforting. It’s what I wanna do, I’m inspired of people and personalities. I love digging deep and being someone else. Acting is my way of doing that… It’s my way of taking a break from reality. Feeling a characters pain is lovely, and when I’m assigned a role… I am that role until the role is closed and I’m done. It’s weird being around me when I’m working, because I automatically become my character and do what my character would’ve done. (enough of that; I might make a post of funny incidents happening when I’m in role)
“They say that if your dreams doesn’t scare you, they aren’t big enough”
I’m planning on moving to LA when I turn eighteen or nineteen. Don’t start judging me already… because I feel like that’s what I’m supposed to do. I don’t think that I’m better than anyone, or have a better chance than anyone. I’m only saying that it’s the right thing for me to do. I don’t know why, but my instincts tell me that. It’s what I have ahead of me. Of course I dream of making it in Hollywood, who doesn’t? I’m terrified to get my hopes up, and I believe that’s both important and good. People often tell me that I’m special and unusual compared to many others, but personally I don’t quite believe so though I feel different in many ways.
Me as many others deal with insecurity, but of course it get’s better. I’m dealing with it as many others, but still it’s there. Am I pretty enough? Am I talented enough? Am I hot enough? Do people like me? Will I ever find my true love? These are some of the things I deal with. I personally don’t thing I own any beauty at all, but I still know I’m not pure ugliness either. I wanna feel admired like some of the other boys. I often think that since I’m not good or hot/pretty enough I’ll never make it serious within acting. Still I don’t want to give up on this dream. I know that this is what I wanna do… I seriously wanna be an actor...
The biggest reason that my dreams scares me is all the things that comes in between. Like how will I get an apartment there? How will I survive, get a job and money for rent? Will I ever find the courage to make it my all on auditions? Will I ever be casted? Will I ever find a talent manager? It’s all the pieces that’s needed for it to be fulfilled. I believe that I’ll make a living there somehow, but it’s too unpredictable to think that I can survive being an actor.
Still I believe that dreams can come true no matter how hard it will be. As long as you work your hardest towards your goals, there’ll always be a light on the other end of the tunnel. I believe that I’ll make a living in LA, if not as an actor, it might be something else. I believe that this is the right path for me, and I promise I will work my fucking ass off to make as much as possible my reality! 😀
I wont call myself an actor before I’m there… I’ll always be an aspiring actor, and I’ll still keep my dream a little secret until I can prove that I’ve made it. I know the chances, and they also scare me, but I choose to not think about it, and just staying positive no matter what.
What’s your dream, your plans and hopeful future?